I am different than you. We don’t dress the same. I don’t like the things you like. I don’t believe what you believe. However I see what you see and smell what you smell. I cry, I eat, I breathe. Something that is different is not necessarily a disability. For much of culture, people focus on what makes people different. They cannot distinguish between what is different and what is disability. This is because society to often equates abnormal to crazy. The girl who wears strange clothes to school is not crazy. Someone who hears voices or sees things that don’t exist, lives in a world that doesn’t exist. Someone who is physically or mentally disabled is someone who’s abilities are inhibited to the point that they could not function in any society without help. If someone is gay, it does make them abnormal. Just because they don’t fit into societal norms doesn’t mean they need treatment or to be changed.
Here however, we reach the wall of belief. Some believe that God declares homosexuality wrong. If you’re in this boat I ask only that you consider one notion, belief is voluntary and should never be enforced. Meaning, that one person’s belief should only be enforced by law, or otherwise, if it has addressed a burden of proof. Just as it would be unfair for Catholics to push for a ban on contraceptives, it would be wrong for any religion’s belief to be the sole cause for law or policy.
I recently read a post on a blog by Matt Walsh. In his post he made a case to deny marriages between two men or two women. He states clearly that he, for religious reasons, does not support gay marriage. He argues that gay marriage is tearing down the traditional family. In another article he decries the equality of the sexes, that men and woman are different and that that this must be recognized. Something that I think is one of the largest issues for some, next to religious belief, is that they see this as a change and a perversion of the family and that we forget that the sexes are different. I would like to say if you truly feel like gay rights proponents and feminists don’t understand physical differences among people then you are dead wrong. They understand, but they also understand that many of the differences between men and women are purely traditional or cultural. They seek to have men and women, gay couples and straight couples, everyone and their relationships treated the same.
Many have expressed concern that gay marriage will allow the door to open for other marriages. This is not necessarily true. It may cause people to reexamine other relationships but those marriages or relationships should be examined for their own merit. Loosened gun laws will not necessarily lead to children being issued weapon permits and allow children to bring firearms to school. Just as gay marriage will not necessarily lead to legal recognition of bestiality. It is an insult to compare reasonable regulation or deregulation to extremes. Each relationship or law deserves its own examination and burden of proof.
Here is my own argument for equal marriage. What is a family? What is an ideal family? Anytime you give a specific answer to these questions you will alienate large swatches of society. Tradition is only beneficial as long as it continues to work within the framework of human understanding and is not hurting people unnecessarily. The traditional family has only been traditional for the last couple thousand years. It could be said that polygamy has more of a claim to the title, “traditional marriage,” than 1 man, 1 woman. For much of written Jewish–Christian history polygamy appeared to be the more desirable form of marriage or sexual relationship. In fact for much of history, marriage traditionally enslaved a woman to a man as his wife. She was his property and he could do with her as he pleased. Matt Walsh claims that equality of the sexes was first a Christian idea and that modern feminists simply are copying that idea. I would ask him to please show me how that is even remotely true, because I have many, many examples from history to show why that is wrong.
Marriage has already changed from underneath you. Many claim that the sole purpose of family or marriage is to give birth to the next generation. I will admit that many marriages now and in the past have been formed for the purpose of providing the husband with his heir or to further on a name or a dynasty historically used for political gain or wealth. However if I ask most people today why they married their spouse, usually they will tell you they fell in love, that they find them attractive, that they love how they feel when they are around them and that they want to start a family with them. I argue marriage has already become, for most, about love. Many couples will choose not to have children, and 1 in 4 couples cannot do to infertility. How dare anyone call their marriage anything less than a marriage? Gender and sexuality like marriage is a social construct used to explain and make life simpler. Any understanding of human psychology or even physiology will show you that gender and sexuality are much more fluid. The legalization of gay marriage is simply a reflection of reality not just tradition. A person’s family is not made just in genes or blood. A child can consider a step father family and adopted children can consider their parents family. Adoption and marriage are simply the legal recognition of that family. People form families, not church or the government but not all families are treated equal. A gay couple may even have kids through adoption or through past relationships. We turn down their legal recognition, benefits and protection because it is not traditional or accepted by many beliefs. Straight parents have not been proven to be better than gay parents. Most studies show that there is no noticeable difference between the children of gay parents and straight parents.
Matt Walsh stated that if he were to support equal marriage he would need a specific redefinition of family or marriage so that he and others will know where we want to redraw the lines. Here is my line. Let us allow for all human families to have the same protections. Let us stop treating others who are different like they have a disability. Just because someone is different from you does not make them any less worthy of protection and recognition. A message from a gay man: stop trying to treat me or change me, just let me be me and form my own family.
If you have questions or comments please leave them below. Many may be answered by clicking the links, most of which take you to Wikipedia and from there you can search the citations for further links. Most of the articles shared have links where they are mentioned, if I have missed some links please let me know.
Post on my friends blog, same topic, it is excellent! athenosvolcanos.blogspot.com
- NEW POLL: American’s Want Marriage Equality! (davidmixner.com)
- Ryan T. Anderson’s, ‘A Case Against Gay Marriage,’ Draws Huge Crowd at Boston College (thecollegefix.com)
- Ted Olson, David Boies Team Up Again To Make Virginia For All Lovers (usnews.com)
- Shocking Poll: Marriage Equality Fails to Destroy Massachusetts (justiceforall.firedoglake.com)
- ‘Historic’ ruling: Gay marriage ruled legal in N.J., but Christie vows appeal (nj.com)
- The Family Must Be Protected As An Institution That Can Provide a Barrier to the Assault on our Cultural Heritage (resistancetoantidemocraticleft.wordpress.com)
- Polygamy could follow gay marriage, warns MSP (scotsman.com)
- Judge Rules Court Challenges to Illinois Gay Marriage Ban Can Proceed (towleroad.com)